How to be resilient
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“Resilience isn’t about being bulletproof. Resilient people do experience pain and suffer, but they eventually recover and grow.”
Here is my piece on resilience published in Psyche Magazine.
What wouldn’t we do out of boredom? In 2019, a story went viral about a security guard in Wisconsin working the night shift at a Bath & Body Works. Out of sheer boredom, he decided to handcuff himself, just for the thrill of it.
The problem? He had left the key at home. The night ended with an embarrassed call to the police.
Sometimes, we act in ways that others quickly label as “illogical” or an “overreaction,” but not all seemingly irrational behaviour is as senseless as it appears.
Think about how often we interpret others' negative actions as being directed at us, even when they aren't.
After a recent parent-teacher meeting, a friend of mine called me, clearly anxious. Her son’s teacher described him as relaxed, sociable, and well-mannered, but at home, she often saw him withdrawn and irritable. She worried she might be dealing with a mini Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde—like her son was leading a double life. “Should I be concerned?” she asked.
One of the bittersweet realities of growing up was coming to terms with the fact that my parents didn’t give me everything I needed as a kid, and that they probably never would.
It’s bittersweet because while seeing the gaps left by unmet needs hurts, there’s also a sense of relief in letting go of impossible expectations.
Imagine you have a magic wand, and with it, two choices: you can either use it to fight against the bad—things like violence and crime—or to nurture the good, like harmony and peace. Which would you choose?
We can’t seem to stop telling others how to live their lives: what to eat, how much to exercise, how to raise a kid, what to believe, or even how to manage our ADHD.
Advice is everywhere, handed out like free samples at a grocery store.
Ever had a feeling that just wouldn’t leave, like an unwanted guest who overstays?
Maybe you’re still feeling the disappointment of missing out on that promotion, days after the news. Or you’ve been anxious for what feels like forever because of a difficult conversation you’re dreading.
We’ve all seen what immaturity looks like. Just turn on the evening news, and there it is: politicians slinging insults instead of ideas, leaders driven by greed instead of empathy, and everyday people losing it, throwing tantrums at workers who are just trying to do their jobs.
Your partner has been coughing and struggling with a sore throat for weeks. They’re very uncomfortable, hoping it will go away, but it isn’t. What do you do?
Chances are, you’d gently suggest, “Hey, what about seeing a doctor?”
Growth and healing get all the spotlight—empowering, life-changing, thrilling. But here’s the part no one puts on an inspirational poster: it’s lonely too.
It’s the kind of loneliness where you feel alienated because the people around you resist, reject, or even criticise your changes.