Resources
Whose life is this? The costs of advice
We can’t seem to stop telling others how to live their lives: what to eat, how much to exercise, how to raise a kid, what to believe, or even how to manage our ADHD.
Advice is everywhere, handed out like free samples at a grocery store—sometimes out of kindness, sometimes because we feel awkward and just need to say something, sometimes we want to validate our own choices, and sometimes to make ourselves feel better when someone else is struggling.
Why Do Some Emotions Stay Longer?
Ever had a feeling that just wouldn’t leave, like an unwanted guest who overstays?
Maybe you’re still feeling the disappointment of missing out on that promotion, days after the news. Or you’ve been anxious for what feels like forever because of a difficult conversation you’re dreading.
4 indicators of psychological maturity
We’ve all seen what immaturity looks like. Just turn on the evening news, and there it is: politicians slinging insults instead of ideas, leaders driven by greed instead of empathy, and everyday people losing it, throwing tantrums at workers who are just trying to do their jobs.
Can I suggest therapy to my loved ones?
Your partner has been coughing and struggling with a sore throat for weeks. They’re very uncomfortable, hoping it will go away, but it isn’t. What do you do?
Chances are, you’d gently suggest, “Hey, what about seeing a doctor?”
Why self-love isn't necessary to love others
Ever been told you must love yourself before you can truly love others?
Or that you need to accept yourself first before you can show acceptance toward others?
You know, those feel-good, self-help mantras that are supposed to unlock the secret to all things love and connection?
When the world overwhelms and you feel small
Every day, we’re hit with a flood of heartbreaking news: wars destroying lives, economic and political problems breaking hopes, poverty leading to suffering, racism splitting us apart, crime taking lives and spreading fear, and climate change threatening our future.
The loneliness of not being heard
“I don’t feel lonely when I’m alone,” I said to a friend. “I feel lonely when he is half-listening.”
This form of loneliness isn’t born from solitude but from half-hearted engagements. It’s a common frustration in relationships, where genuine connections give way to distracted attention.
How to let go of emotional pain
Just let it go. People say it like it’s a simple task, as if letting go of pain is something you can check off your to-do list. But letting go of a memory, an experience, and most importantly, the feelings tied to them—like guilt, sorrow, despair, and shame—is anything but simple.
17 lessons on the inner impostor
In my “What to do when you feel like a small fish in a big pond” post, I touched on the discomfort we might feel when stepping into something new and challenging. This discomfort can be daunting, bringing intense self-doubt and impostor feelings.
What to do when you feel like a small fish in a big pond
Ever felt like “a big fish in a small pond” at some point in your life? That’s right, just like the one in the picture above.
Why your colleagues can't read your minds
Back in 2015, fresh from a painful breakup, I was about to deliver a speech to a large audience. Overwhelmed with sadness and exhaustion, I felt completely drained. I had extensive public speaking experience, but this time felt different.
The courage to share in a romantic relationship
Recently, while both working and enjoying a cup of coffee at a café, I couldn’t help but overhear a couple's conversation. I didn't catch the entire discussion, but one line stood out: "Tell me one thing you always wanted me to do differently but you have never mentioned."
When personalities collide
I’ve just revisited the TV series “The Mentalist,” and it’s reminded me of how personality differences can be both a curse and a blessing in relationships.
Patrick Jane, the charming mentalist, joins forces with Theresa Lisbon, the by-the-book detective.
A guide to emotional openness
“Why can’t I just rid myself of this sadness?” my friend said. “I can delete an unwanted photo or donate old clothes. It’d be so convenient if I could do the same with emotions.”
Part 2 of "Conflict and connection: two sides of the same coin"
In the first part, I discussed the close relationship between conflict and connection and shared three essentials to improve the way we approach and handle conflicts in relationships.
Now, let’s build on that with two more tips aimed at easing tensions in our interactions and creating a lighter atmosphere.
Conflict and connection: two sides of the same coin
Observing my 10-year-old nephew and his 5-year-old sister, my niece, engage in quarrels and fights, it often feels as though they will be at odds or even enemies forever, or at least estranged for weeks on end.
Learning to become more patient in an impatient world
Patience can be a refusal to conform to the relentless pace of modern life, glorification of instant gratification, speed of communication, and pressure to do more. It can serve as an antidote to boredom and discomfort with uncertainty.
Why your attempts at taking care of your mental wellbeing might fall short
In my interactions with my readers, workshop attendees, friends, and clients, one question emerges more frequently than any other lately: “How do I establish a mental health routine for myself and truly prioritise my emotional wellbeing?”
Feel free to gripe from time to time; there's no shame in complaining
Back when I was consulting for a big tech company, I witnessed an odd rule set by the team lead: every time someone complained, they had to drop 50 cents into a jar.
5 strategies to hold inner experiences more lightly
One of the most valuable skills I’ve learned in life is the ability to adopt a broadened, flexible perspective towards self. It’s about learning to disentangle myself from my inner experiences, recognising that I’m not merely my emotion, my thought, or my memory itself, but rather the container that holds it.