What to do when you feel like a small fish in a big pond
Ever felt like “a big fish in a small pond” at some point in your life? That’s right, just like the one in the picture above.
Imagine being in a job where everything runs smoothly because you've mastered it all. It's comfortable. You feel like you take a lot of space. You're visible, you matter.
But then, there's a twist. That comfort starts to wear thin. You begin to feel like you're not growing anymore. It's natural—after all, we're only human, and too much comfort can leave us feeling stuck and hungry for a bigger challenge.
So, you decide to shake things up. You find a new job, one with tasks not entirely unfamiliar, but definitely more demanding than your last one. You're excited about this change because it feels like the right step forward, a chance to really stretch your wings.
Next thing you know, you’re filled with self-doubt. As soon as you start, you wonder if you've bitten off more than you can chew. There is a lot of uncertainty and unknown. Your mind becomes loud: “Am I good enough for this?” “Do I really belong here?” “What if I make a mistake?”
Suddenly, you feel like “a small fish in a big pond” (like the one in the picture below). And it's not just uncomfortable—it's scary.
This discomfort and the accompanying fear are signs that you're pushing your boundaries, stepping into new territories where you also want to make your mark and even excel.
So how do we deal with this nagging feeling of being out of our depth when we take on new challenges? How do we navigate the discomfort of being the small fish in a big pond?
As I always say, there's no magic formula, and we've got plenty of ways to tackle these feelings. This post might just help you rethink how you deal with the discomfort of self-doubt and those impostor feelings.
Trust your future self; it knows what it’s doing.
The mind is fascinating, but it’s also tricky. It can get you into trouble when you pay attention to everything it says. In an effort to keep you safe, it looks for threats. Unfortunately, it might confuse threats with natural experiences.
When you dive into something new, like starting a challenging job, the unfamiliar might feel like a threat. Your instinct is to tackle it immediately. That’s why your mind tends to zero in on the here and now—especially when your emotions run high in the face of the perceived threat.
After all, there’s so much to learn and it feels like you’re lagging behind. You think everyone around you has figured it all out and you’re just a rookie. But this narrow focus on the present skips over a crucial truth: things will change.
You’ve just swum into a new, bigger pond. Naturally, it'll take time to settle in, to get to know your colleagues, and to navigate all the new challenges that come with it. It’s natural to feel inadequate or doubtful when faced with the mountain of new information. Right now, your impact might feel minimal, but give it time—it’s bound to grow.
Remember, just because you’re struggling today doesn’t mean you’ll struggle forever. And just because your impact is small today doesn’t mean it will be small in the future. This isn’t a permanent state; it’s just a starting point.
That’s why I urge you to trust your future self. Doing so not only grounds us but also inspires us to take constructive, calm action. Your future self will be far savvier than you are now. You’ll have more experience, skills, and knowledge. You’ll have built a network of allies and supporters at work.
Visualise your future self. What will you look like in a few weeks, months, or half a year? What new skills will you have acquired? What now-daunting tasks will have become second nature? What will you know then that you don’t know now?
This forward-thinking is a powerful tool. Some self-doubt is completely natural. But if it starts to interfere with your life, that’s when you might need to ground yourself by trusting in your future potential. This isn’t about transforming into an overnight sensation of confidence. It’s about moving towards a broader, more constructive way of thinking. One that shifts your focus from what's immediately overwhelming to the bigger picture of your growth.
However, when you swim into something new, things might go slower than expected. You’re trying to connect to new people. You’re trying to be recognised. These are all valid needs and wants. So, exercise some patience.
One more thing: remind yourself that the colleague who seems like they have it all together were once in your shoes, feeling just as uncertain. It's a rite of passage.
Focus on quality over quantity—and maybe rethink how you measure success.
It's so tempting to measure our worth by ticking boxes—how many tasks we've knocked out, how many projects we've wrapped up. When you do that, you might feel productive. But what if the real impact of your work isn't just about the number of ticks on that list?
In the early days of swimming in a new pond, it might seem like you're not making waves if you're just counting things. The quality of what you're doing might be where the story changes. Maybe you're bringing a new perspective that shifts how your team tackles problems. Maybe it’s your thorough approach that's setting a new bar. Or it could be your knack for connecting with clients in a way that goes deeper than just business.
Shifting from looking at quantity to appreciating quality isn’t about making you feel better—it’s a more sustainable way to work. High-quality work feels more satisfying, more meaningful. It builds your reputation as someone meticulous and dedicated.
At this point, it’s also valuable to reflect on how you define and measure success. If you’ve been all about the numbers, think about different indicators of performance. Perhaps measure your progress by what you’re learning, the habits you’re changing, or the skills you’re honing. Reflect on the influence your ideas are starting to wield.
Success is multifaceted and not bound to a single dimension. Reflecting on these different facets of success and moving away from a one-size-fits-all approach can help you settle into the discomfort of new challenges, learn from the inevitable missteps, and grow in your role.
And think about this: when was the last time you felt truly proud of your work? Was it because of the sheer volume of tasks you completed, or was it because of the impact you made? Chances are, it's the latter. Quality work leaves a lasting impression. It resonates. It builds bridges. It opens doors.
Notice your own value - You might have more to offer than you think.
When you’re feeling like a small fish in a big pond, your mind tends to wipe out your skills, strengths, and achievements. Or at least make them look and feel smaller. Combat this with deliberate counter-tactics.
One way is reverse mentoring: engage with someone newer in your field or a junior colleague and exchange insights. This activity not only sharpens your skills but you also remind yourself that there is always something others can learn from you. During this process, you might just uncover hidden gems of wisdom you’d forgotten.
Skill swaps is another excellent strategy. These are essentially exchanges where you and your colleagues trade expertise on various topics. Not only do you get to learn something new, but you also get to showcase your own skills.
Suppose you’re great at data analysis but want to improve your public speaking skills. Meanwhile, a colleague excels at presenting but struggles with analysing data. A skill swap can bridge that gap. You spend an afternoon teaching them the basics of data analysis, and in return, they coach you on public speaking techniques. It’s a win-win situation where everyone walks away better equipped and more confident. You’ll also get to see that not everyone has figured it all out.
But don’t get me wrong. The aim of these activities isn’t to inflate your confidence or boost your ego. It’s easy to overlook your skills when faced with something new and challenging. The goal is to notice the strengths that are hard to see when you feel like a small fish. It’s about accepting that everyone is constantly learning and growing. It’s about realising that the insights you take for granted could be game-changing for someone else.
Your experiences, no matter how small they seem to you, are valuable. Remember, the pond is vast, and there’s ample room for everyone, including you.
So, as I navigate this process, does the fish get bigger or does the pond get smaller?
The aim isn't to shrink the pond. Over time, you'll grow—perhaps a little, perhaps a lot—and the pond will start to “feel” smaller. As you become more familiar with your new environment, get to know the people, and master the tasks, what once seemed vast and intimidating will start to feel more manageable. As your competence increases, tasks that once felt daunting will become routine. Challenges shrink, and the pond feels less overwhelming.
More importantly, embracing discomfort builds resilience. This resilience not only helps us manage our current pond but also equips us to navigate even larger and more challenging ponds in the future. It's a dynamic journey of growth and adaptation, where both the fish and the pond evolve in tandem.